Envy

Exodus 20:17

All too often, we look over the fence to the proverbial greener grass, sure the folks over there are doing far better than we are, are happier than we are, and have everything go their way. A quick observation, though, is that no matter how well we know the people across the fence, we really have no idea what their life really is or how they are. The truth is that we never really self-reveal to others, even our dearest friends. We will keep some secrets, guard nooks within our existence as our own. Appearances rarely tell a complete story. The further truth is that as we look across the fence, we are missing what is right before us. We are not paying attention to our own environment. Missing that can blind us to some wonderful things that are right at hand.

God understands. God meets us in the fullness of God’s compassion. That is the core of the final commandment of Moses’ two tablets. It is not so much a stark prohibition as it is a piece of parental advice. 

Let me delve a bit more deeply into the concept of envy.

What causes envy?

If we face ourselves in full honesty, we see that envy is a very close cousin to self-pity. What fires self-pity is the surety that someone else is getting something over us. It is the certainty that life is not fair, and we are the punchline in God’s joke. It flows from the weariness of being the butt of everyone’s laughter. It is a right good pout.

Envy flows from this source like a river from a spring because as we wallow around in self-pity, we grow ever more sure that everyone else has it so much easier than we do. In a completely delusional fit, we begin to believe that no one else knows what suffering is, that no one else ever deals with disappointment, and no one else ever has a frustrated moment in their lives. So, we get jealous. We get right personal in our envy, too. Look at the list of things God warns us to not covet—wife, servants, animals, etc.—everything that makes home, home. 

Now, though, you begin to see the wisdom of God flickering to life. 

If we are fully occupied envying our neighbor their lives and homes, then we are completely oblivious to our own. All of a sudden, we begin to see some of the other commandments entering the scene. There is idolatry (the Second Commandment)—if we envy another their stuff, then that stuff takes an unhealthy spot in our priority list. It is not that important. There is the treasure of family (the Fifth Commandment coupled to the Seventh)—if we envy someone else their family, then how are we relating to our own parents, our own children, or our own life partners? 

So, you see, if we are busy envying someone else all that they have, then we are more than likely neglecting our own treasures and loves. Our real focus should be the people nearest to us—are we loving them as fully as we can? are we tending to them to the best of our ability? In short, our praxis of love suffers and withers.

But we are not done with God’s counsel—when we fall to envy, we are also running afoul of the First Commandment—that God is God, and no other. Through the revelation of Christ, we know that God is love. One of the deepest and fullest expressions of that love is providence—God cares for all creation and every creature within it by providing for every need, by creating a world that can sustain every life within it, and, therefore, providing for us. No one is extra special to God, somehow gleaning a bigger harvest of grace than someone else. No, in the eyes and heart of God, all 7000000000 of us are equally loved, blessed, and fed through God. Note that—God ordains that all have enough. AN imbalance, then, is not so much an issue for God as it is for us. It means we need to examine our generosity, our compassion, and our willingness to share the gifts of God. It means we need to reexamine our commitment to the practice and discipline of stewardship—shepherding the gifts of God so every generation will taste and see that the Lord is good.

Finally, our quickness to assumption blinds us to the full reality of someone else. A beautiful house can hold a despairing heart. All families run through dark valleys. All people encounter overwhelming moments of loss. Not all poverty is visible. Letting go of envy based on assumption frees us to practice compassion for all people. It allows us to actually see them for who and what they are. It gives us ears to truly listen to someone else. It gives us eyes to see things for what they actually are. We might suddenly see an opportunity to serve. We might hear the call to love as Christ loves. We may discover an abundance we had no idea we held that will feed a hungry heart or a thirsty mind. 

What the Tenth Commandment does, then, is to call us to awakening to life as it is, not what we presume it to be. It is a call to focus on what is truly important, and on who is truly important in our circle. It is an invitation into a deep and profound practice of love, even love as it flows from God. 

Envy is a strong poison, one especially dangerous because there are times when it tastes so good. But poison it is—it blinds us, it deafens us, and it freezes our hearts within us. It does us no good. God wills other for us. God wills that we exist in fullest expression of the glory in which God made us. By giving us this commandment, God gives us an eternal door into grace. God gives us the escape hatch from ill health, particularly of the heart. What a wondrous gift!

So, we find the Tenth Commandment to be a fitting and wise conclusion to God’s architecture for a life well lived.